A peek into my life...my thoughts...my dreams...

rehearsals...

2006-04-09T10:13:00.000-07:00

today's rehearsals was distrubing.. the guys seemed to be more eager to use makeup than the girls.. there is seriously something really wrong with that... *laughs*... i suppose they can't really use make up most of the time so this will have to do...have fun guys..=P

rehearsals went great... we are doing great... i'm just so tired at the mo... and brain is not functioning as normal as it usually can... need rest.. and tomorrow will be another long day.. work.. and rehearsals... but it's all good... everything's good... =)

dinner was good.. tho pat was half asleep.. poor gal.. one hour of sleep... and still able to direct her plays... *claps* well done... went to strawberry fields.. one of the best places for dinner i say... yummy cheap food... and good company.. isn't that the best thing that one could ask for? tho some of the topics just flew over my head... well flew over most ppl's heads.. it was good la...

2006-04-05T08:38:00.001-07:00

2006-04-05T08:38:00.000-07:00

a week left... and it seems that there is lots to do.. so little time.. and much needs to be planned...

have decided that i need to have a list of things to be done.. and cross them off as they have been done... it's only like this that i'll be able to get things done... am feeling like a sloth at the mo... i can't seem to motivate myself to do ANYTHING... that's the worse about being a sloth...

things to do:
1.) sort out props
2.) sort out costumes
3.) sort of tech stuff

it may sound little... but i dunno ... it still doesn't seem to go down...

7 days to go... and counting down... praying that everything goes smoothly... goes as planned.. no more hiccups.. and no more problems... *crosses fingers*

2006-04-04T09:32:00.000-07:00

patience is a virtue.. and i'm running out of it... and fast.. real fast...

i pray that God gives me the patience to see out these next two weeks with ease.. actually less than two weeks... and to stop me from saying the things i wish to say.. or the things i should not say... but rather to help me say the right things ... to calm situations rather than make them worse... hard as it may seem.. i need to try to do that... rather than blow up in the end...

certain ppl may think that as a crew we do not listen to others or consider their feelings... i must say that they are so totally wrong.. we do listen and we do consider.. and to tell us that we don't is just insulting... we are doing the best we can to make sure you all look good on stage... and to make sure everything goes smoothly.. we look for the props.. the set.. some of the costumes.. we manage the lighting .. the sound .. everything.. and to be told we are not considerate.. but rather we do things to hurt others is just wrong... i'm sorry if u feel that way.. but we can't always accomodate just one person and jeopardize the rest of the cast... it would be just unfair... so grow up and look at things from another person's perspective as well as your own...

*phew* all that out and now i'm feeling distinctly at peace.. it's hard to be cruel.. and i'm not one for confrontations.. but this has to be done...

2006-04-01T07:31:00.000-08:00

my passion for malaysian theatre is growing... i mean ... i'm finally seeing that maybe we can improve on what we have .. and we do have the ppl that are willing to try and make a difference here... i suppose i was sceptical about it in the beginning .. i mean think about it .. after theatre in perth.. coming back to a country where theatre is just beginning .. that it's almost like a baby starting to grow up....

now my scepticalism (if that is a word.. if not then i'll just say 'it's my blog so i dun care'.. hehe) has changed...

i was reminded by my beloved sister that i am going to be 23 this year... my gosh... i feel old now that she told me ... maybe it's becos i'm hanging out with these young-uns makes me feel young.. i suppose u are as old as u feel... true?? i say yes... and i feel young!!

ok this is just plain rubbish ... i am just rambling .. and y? cos i have no voice ... so i have to release my thoughts through my blog... but i may not release them 100%... tht's for my other blog.... where i can bitch about anything that is happening in malaysia... hehe...

long time no see...

2006-02-21T19:23:00.000-08:00

haven't blogged much on this.. will blog again soon .. =)

mixture of feelings...

2005-08-14T04:30:00.000-07:00

there is a lot of pain... a lot of hurt.. a lot of anger... a lot of everything in life... i dunno... it sounds redundant to say that i wish all this pain would be gone... but it isn't gonna just disappear like that... haih...

heard something today about some of the cell members... gossip ppl would call it... the content of the gossip has caused a bit of uncertainty... a bit of questioning... and a bit of rife in trust... it should not have spread this much... but it has... and questions raised are a bit wrong... wrongly worded? wrongly queationed? wrongly accused? i dunno what the words i'm trying to say are ... but the feelings are strong... needs time to regain that trust again... i wonder... and to think that it really has nothing to do with me... but it's just knowing that you can't really talk to anybody without it being passed on to others... that is scary... it means that you can't confide in anybody... how la like that? hmmm... maybe that is why i just have such a small group of ppl that i know that i can trust in and confide in... and i pray that hopefully that these ppl do not betray that trust in any way...

that's all i have to say for now... a mixture of feelings indeed...

Being FAT!!

2005-08-07T05:55:00.000-07:00

Gosh.. it's so irritating being under the scrunity of others.. for not conforming and being the same as others... not being stick thin... not being anorexic in nature... not being able to just eat my favourite foods and not worry about being teased for being fat.. gosh it's a harsh world we live in... i sometimes wish that all the media hype.. all the hype to be thin would just disappear...

God made us who we are...
Why can't we just accept that and carry on with our lives...
He loves us just as we are... fat.. thin... beautiful in His eyes...
So why do we have to be somebody that we are not...
forcing ourselves.. starving ourselves just to be accepted by others...
what is the point of life then?
we're given one life... one chance to do something with our lives..
so why are we so obsessed with our body image?
especially when we should be more worried about doing something worthwhile for God...
Gosh.. it's heartbreaking to see... to hear... the word FAT being used...

People.. please be more sensitive when u use the word fat.. especially on girls... some of us may have thick skin on the outside.. but on the inside... we are just like anybody else.. insecure... unsure... messed up people as well... do care about our feelings too ... God made us who we are and accepts us as His children... why can't you just accept me as i am too..??

Pot bless...

2005-08-05T11:43:00.000-07:00

Pot bless tonight was good... it was good to meet up with people that i hadn't seen around much recently.. and people that i hadn't seen around since the end of last sem... it feels weird not having met up for so long...

one thing that stood out tonite was the way we made the new-comers feel so welcomed... they got to eat, talk, meet new friends and also to see how we come together to worship the Lord as a cell. It was amazing and for the first time in ages... i felt like the atmostphere was so calming... and so beautiful... it was just amazing... there are no words to describe wat i felt during cell... the togetherness was just there... it seemed almost too good to be true...

as in Hazel's email... me, cheryl n jon did the cleaning up... it was ok la to do the cleaning up and freeing up Hazel to talk to the freshies... it showed in a way that we respect her as a cell leader... and also to step up and take responsibility towards the cell... this sem i'm the treasurer and events manager... *laughs*.. this will be a fun semester chasing ppl for money and to organize different events for the cell...

was talking to cheryl about being trained up to take over from Hazel next sem... she seems to fall back and step into a kind of doubtful place where she thinks she cannot do it... that girl has so much potential but she just doesn't see it... i see her as being a cell leader in the future... maybe in the not too distant future... we'll see how it all goes la.. God has it all planned out... i'm sure He has it all under control...

drama classes will start tomorrow!! i'm excited... we have out very first 'short play' to do for Father's Day... exciting stuff... we really need lots of prayers and support in this ministry as we are just starting out... just stepping into waters where we do not know how deep it is and how much we'd need to swim... but i suppose the only thing we have now is to trust God and that we know He has it all planned out... i just can't wait to see how God uses us to touch other people's lives... it's not about us anymore.. it's all about Him... and Him alone... to glorify His name to the people that do not yet know Him to be their Lord and Saviour... gosh... it's gonna be great!! yay!!

i can't wait for tomorrow... Heavenly Father... grant me peace to sleep thru tonite... and the energy to keep up with everything tomorrow... with the drama class... motivating the students... with assignments... with watching the play.... thank you Lord for ur forgiveness and love... i could never do without it...

My journey...

2005-08-04T22:22:00.000-07:00

If you can see this posting... then you'll know that you are the chosen few that i'm allowing to see this blog... it's hard having a blog that everybody reads..because then you can't write what you secretly or privately want to write about... i'm not saying i do not want everyone to know about what i think... i welcome all comments and criticisms... cos i'm an open-minded person who would love to improve on myself instead of sitting in a rut...